Showing posts with label NFL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NFL. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Daily Super Bowl Hype Meme: The Bears and Jets Lost, Right?

In compiling our hype memes, we often find it valuable to take a look at espn.com's NFL page, which generally serves as a fine snapshot of what memes are lumbering down the precise middle of the media road. But we were taken somewhat aback by today's landing page:

To summarize, here is a breakdown of the linked articles by most featured team:

Chicago Bears (4) (plus a lead photograph depicting the overwhelming tristesse of Jay Cutler)
New York Jets (2.5)
Green Bay Packers (2)
New England Patriots (1.5)
Cincinnati Motherforgetting Bengals (1)
Johnny Depp as a Cartoon Lizard (1)

Deploying the fourth-grade math at our collective disposal, this means that the losers of last weekend's conference championship games somehow generated more than three times the stories as the winners did. Also, apparently the Pittsburgh Steelers franchise has been contracted by the league. We'd have thought that story would merit a mention, but perhaps ESPN is just saving it for the third hour of Cold Pizza.

Those inclined to be pro-mass-media (which at this point consists of about 20% of the people actually working in the mass media, and a slightly larger percentage of those people's mothers) can spin this as a positive thing: the media is holding off on saturation coverage of the Super Bowl participants until we get closer to the day.

But surely there must be something to say about these teams that trumps speculation surrounding the future of the (unfortunately) second-greatest Heisman QB of the last 25 years. Here, we'll get things started: can someone write something informative and revealing about Mike Tomlin, who has conquered more of his chosen world at a younger age than anyone since Alexander the Great (who, like Tomlin, had trouble beating patriots)?

Listen, no one is more grateful than we are that the hype has started off soft. Our teeth are pre-gritted for all the Ben Roethlisberger-is-great-because-he-no-longer-rapes-(as-much) stories. But whether the media is ignoriong the game by focusing on drivel like that, or ignoring the game by simply IGNORING THE GAME, it's still going down the wrong track. Still, though, we'll be kind and give today's espn.com front page a 5 on the meme scale, because we're expecting the deluge any second now.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Daily Super Bowl Hype Meme: National Labor Relations, Bored

Every year a couple of days before the Super Bowl, the commissioner gives his State of the League address. Roger Goodell loves this because he loves a television camera almost as much as Chuck Schumer, and he has about 9000 media members at his beck and call from a podium for an hour or so. It also gives him the opportunity to begin a propaganda campaign to advance whatever cause celebre he's in the mood for that given year, be it personal conduct, drug testing, labor negotiations, stadium construction or franchise relocation. And the media generally buys his spiel hook line and sinker, and starts an offseason meme with what issues it likes the most.

This year, the media has jumped the gun and already brought to the forefront the issue that Goodell is going to spend an inordinate amount of time discussing this week, next week, and until Proskauer Rose blesses a 500 page document: the upcoming labor war with the Players' Association. We've heard for a while now about issues like next year being uncapped, the odd free agency restrictions that are going to pop up, and that there may be no football played in September 2011.

Let's note that last point again: the media is fervently discussing that there may be no football played. In September 2011. Twenty months from now.

The media's insane fixation on the labor negotiations, a subject that was dry and esoteric in law school when we used to bring 40's to class, is best shown in this piece by the World Wide Leader's Tim Graham, who opines:

You've ignored the NFL labor situation, hoping it would fix itself before you invested one minute of your life, one ounce of worry.

"I'll just watch football," you thought. "I'll concentrate on the season, the stars, the X's and O's. I'll carry on as though the NFL is simply in the greatest league in the world, a game, a diversion from real-world issues -- not an industry."

Time to start paying attention to the big business, folks.

Big trouble is near.

Graham (like many of his cronies) goes on to list in exhaustive detail the issues that are going to be raised in a month or so during negotiations and what the ramifications are for the next season, and for the potentially hypothetical mythical 2011 season. But that section, like the rest of the media's coverage of the impending labor doom, is beyond misguided and unfortunate. Where to start?

1. "Big trouble is near." Mr. Graham is right--our President just proposed a budget with a $1.6 trillion hole, all indications are the nation will have deficits until Shawn Kemp is a great-grandfather, we're mired in 2 wars, Congress can't pass anything...oh wait, he means football in 20 months? My mistake.

2. This has zero bearing on the game. Not a single person on Indy or New Orleans will play any differently because of the labor negotiations.

3. There is no news. The closest we have for news is that the sides haven't really begun negotiating in earnest because there's no impending deadline where either side stands to lose anything substantial. We've known this. And we shouldn't be surprised by this--when was the last time substantial labor agreements were reached without a gun being pointed at someone's head?

4. Most of us don't care. Look, fans will care in about a month or so to know if Dan Snyder can sign every free agent on earth, if the Chargers are really going to be unable to keep Vincent Jackson, and if the Jaguars can afford to sign any players. (Strike that last one--nobody cares about the Jags.) But the details of how a contract between a behemoth organization and a union that protects 4000 players and retirees is negotiated and composed? Ugh. We'll take the final details, but really only care about knowing whether it impacts who our teams can sign and when training camp starts.

What we've got, therefore, is the media turning into Goodell--using the Super Bowl as an excuse to opine on what's going on in the league in general, the direction it's taking, and what issues are on the horizon. While this may have made sense 25 years ago when ESPN wasn't omnipotent and there weren't year-round programs and columns devoted to the NFL, it makes zero sense now, because we'll get the information we need when we need it. Therefore, we'll give this a 7 out of 10 because while it's football related, it's not game related, boring, and fairly meaningless.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

If You'd Like To Know Why We Don't Write More About Football . . .

The Jets head to Foxborough this weekend to endure what most people assume will be an epic face-sitting at the hands of the Patriots. (For the record, I have this down as a closer game than that, with a final score in the 23-14 range.) Regardless, the tension of waiting between the hammer and the anvil appears to have gotten to the good folks over at The Gang Green, one of the most prominent Jets fan message boards.

If you have an hour or so on your hands and are interested in a full-spectrum tour of the depths of the human spirit, we strongly encourage you to read this thread previewing the upcoming game. For those looking for the lazy-man's lobster version of the same, allow us to present our top 3 choices for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Batshittedness:

3. "KurtTheJetsFan" contributes this burst of holiday spirit:

I would rather Tom Brady get injured than us win the game.

There..I said it.
__________________
It's Official: The Patriots have ruined the NFL
That post is even better if you imagine that "KurtTheJetsFan" is Kurt Warner. We suppose it's unlikely, but we can dream.

2. "allan1" pines for the days when the NFL was about the love:

The Patriots are due for some serious bad karmic juju, we have to be the team to deliver it. And I mean seriously bad, like hopefully brady gets both legs broke and belichicken suffers a stroke or something.

it started with us and it has to end with us...and it has to end sometime. This version of the Patriots is nothing more than a bunch of mercenaries [emphasis added]
Yes, it's a shame that more of the Pats' players didn't come up through their farm system. We've no doubt that former Toledo MudJet Chad Pennington will stick around as a backup once his contract expires in order to repay the goodwill he's received from Jets fans through the years.

And our clear winner comes from . . .

1. "ollie" in response to a post from a Pats fan [ed. note--edited in an attempt to avoid offense and filters; original NSFW]:

You better pray there's not such thing a karma, f-----t.

Any other fan of another team would have been embarrassed by what your team was CAUGHT doing after specifically being warned by the league not to do it.
But not you Massc--ts. You're too stupid for humility, which is really why you're the joke of the nation.
Ollie, we think we speak for all of us out here in the land of objectively shared reality when we say that you desperately need a hobby. Maybe start with some needlepoint, work your way up to macrame? Scrapbooking can be quite relaxing--you could start with your mentions in the police log of your local paper!

That really troubling last post aside, we're sure you could find similarly asinine posts on a Pats' website. We're not sure what it is about football that makes rational discussion nearly impossible, but other than the guys from Football Outsiders, it's pretty bleak out there.

So try to play nice this weekend, OK, boys and girls? Try to keep in mind that the very large men you are rooting for or against do not care about you at all. They are happy to make some money off of your combined presence, but their interest in you as an individual human being falls in a range from "Zero" to "What's her cup size?" Act accordingly.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Jerry Jones, the Fool


Sadly, I am not talented enough a writer to one-up Kissing Suzy Kolber's fantastic Wade and Jerry series. But I am cognizant enough of bullshit to recognize a load of hot air when I see it. Regarding the NFL Network contretemps with cable TV, Messr. Jones had the following to say:

"I am frustrated that we've got literally several million fans that won't get to see that game because Time Warner won't be carrying it," Jones said in the locker room after the Cowboys' 34-3 victory over the New York Jets. "I'm hot about that. I hope those fans will go to AT&T satellite or go over to a competing cable company."

That sounds just dandy Jerry.....until you look at the facts realistically. That game and 7 others (including last night's snoozer between Indy and Atlanta) are on the NFL Network because you and your compatriots' greedy asses decided to reach for a non-existant pot of gold in a new TV station. And you tried to quintuple your revenues by putting these games on this stupid station by using it as leverage not only against cable carriers, but also ESPN, CBS, NBC and Fox. The system worked perfectly fine beforehand with few or no extra games on Thursday or Saturday night. And something tells me you could have sold the extra 8 games to ESPN or some other carrier for a hefty ransom if you hadn't been so indignant on promoting a station that has zero programming of interest outside of the NFL Draft, and frankly, never will. (I mean seriously--have you ever tried to watch programming on any station specific to one sport or league? The best one is TVG simply because you can bet on everything on its station 24/7.)

In other words, you have precisely thirty-two people to be frustrated with: yourself and your fellow owners. So shut the fuck up.