Season Preview: The Loose Bowels

Everyone talks about the dog days of the baseball season, but nobody talks about the dog days of the fantasy blogging season. You think it's easy writing 5,000 words about essentially nothing? Well, honestly, it usually is. But given the epic length of this year's draft and the correspondingly short preview window we've had, these previews have turned into a bit of a death march.

above: Tired. So very tired.

I bring this up not solely to vent, but as an explanation for why these previews are getting crankier and crankier as they go. I fully expect that Ang will compare somebody to Hitler before we're done, more out of fatigue and boredom than any real emotion. So as you read these, please know that it's not you, it's us. On with the preview.

I have, in what was in retrospect a terrible decision, left possibly the league's most average team for last. I could probably just run a two word preview of "pretty good", but I will instead cling to whatever fraying strings of professionalism I still possess and go into a little more detail.

Infield

Pretty good.

Outfie... What? Ok, ok, fine.

Infield

They say that championship teams are built up the middle, but the Bran Muffin Experience had better hope that's not the case. They're good at catcher, as nobody but a confused car lover could quibble with Geo D. Soto:

Above: I simply couldn't be any more pleased about the above image. Car buffs will get it. Maybe.

From there, though, we get into three-year Ivy leaguer Mark DeRosa and the strikingly mortal Mike Aviles. I thought I had already used up all my Aviles jokes, but that's because I was artificially limiting myself to Royals comparables. So now let me say that I expect Aviles to injure himself with a load of venison at some point this season.

The corners are in considerably better shape; I don't know that the LBs would trade Evan Longoria and Mark Teixiera for any other set of cornermen, especially in a keeper format. Chipper Jones is still here, still good, still old, and still angering Angelo.

Outfield

Carlos Lee is a solid building block, though there are questions as to whether Ducky Ludwick can repeat his late-blooming breakout of last year and whether Jacoby Ellsbury can hit enough to support his wheels. I actually like both players this year, so I'm probably a touch higher on the squad than most would be, especially with unexciting but dependable veteran alternatives JD Drew and Vernon Wells hanging around.

Pitching

The rotation looked really good after the draft, though looks considerably less so now that John Lackey and Justin Duchsherer are on the DL. That said, the team did a good job of socking away a few innings-eater types like Derek Lowe and Carlos Zambrano who can pick up the slack until the younger, more exciting guys get back. Any more injuries and the rotation will be in trouble; for now, though, they should be adble to maintain respectability. It's precarious, though.

The bullpen looked fun after the draft as well, though Jason Motte's hack job in his first save appearance throws matters into a little bit of confusion. Motte's presence on the fantasy roster of a Cardinals fan looks like it it's going to create a perfect storm of hate, with Motte burying the owner's real-life and fantasy rooting interests before Motte is finally driven back to the minors by a wave of pelted Bud Light bottles. Matt Capp and Bobby Jenks are on hand to make sure that the pen doesn't slip back too far. Again, it all averages out to, well, average.

Outlook

Pretty good.