The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency announced today that the Gowanus Canal zone has been formally declared a Superfund site. The Superfund designation opens the way for a federally funded cleanup of the region. The cleanup process is expected to run through 2020.
One cannot help but note parallels between the canal and the fantasy team owners who contribute to its namesake rotisserie baseball blog. Both the canal and the fantasy franchises started off doing a brisk business, only to stagnate in later years under a carapace of uncommon toxins (heavy metals and PCP for the canal; Fausto Carmona and JJ Hardy for the teams).
The good news is that, assuming the parallels between canal and teams continue to run true, we now have a timeline laying out our return to competitiveness. The bad news is that the timeline doesn't get good until 2020, by which time MLB will have expanded to outer space by relocating the Tampa Bay team to Mars and rechristening them the Martian Death Rays. We think this means our only hope is to apply for federal funding or our league dues until then, though we'd probably have to sneak that through reconciliation. Stay tuned for updates as events warrant.