Transactions Analysis: The Mic Drop

Yes lads it's time.  After 18 years, 50,000 transactions, and 400 Ryan Cum Dempster jokes, the Young Boys' Wankdorf league has called it quits.  Which means there's only one last bit of housekeeping - a final TA!

At the risk of being sappy, Teddy and I started writing these on a whim in the 3rd season in the league's "recent messages" column, and at some point, one of us had the hair-brained idea to start a "site" with the columns, rather than using the message board.  We've since then populated this site with horse racing previews, World Cup analysis, and dissertations on the Heisman Trophy, but to us, this site has first and foremost been a repository for the TAs.  So let's give it the proper send off.  (El Angelo)

Some historical context might prove useful. The first real TA published on the blog--which, as Ang notes, happened something like 3-4 years into the TA era--contained the following entry:

Nigerian Gentlemen

Signed: Oliver Pérez (NYM - SP), Kenny Lofton (Tex - OF), Moisés Alou (NYM - OF), Jim Edmonds (StL - OF), Jon Lester (Bos - SP), Aubrey Huff (Bal - 3B,OF)

Waived:  Lester, Joel Piñeiro (Bos - SP,RP)

Hmm. So the Sese Sekos added (at least temporarily) two good, if flawed, young arms, presumably in an attempt to compete down the road. They then turned around and added FOUR past-their-prime outfielders, in what looks like a win-now strategy. Obviously, it's a touch early to completely abandon this season (unless you're Angelo, in which case you're already preparing your draft list for 2009), but the mixed signals are odd. (Teddy)

Well, they waived Cancer Boy Lester, so there's really just adding one arm, and that's the volatile Oliver! Perez. I've seen dumber ideas. Like....signing 3 guys who are well fit for a HACKING MASS squad and Jim Edmonds' corpse. Vomit. (Angelo)

...

All of the following is true: Moises Alou is now the general manager of the Dominican Winter League. Aubrey Huff is getting in Twitter fights with Seth McClung. Kenny Lofton is the CEO of Filmpool, Inc., which just produced an MMA movie starring the guy from Starship Troopers. Jim Edmonds has appeared on the Real Housewives of Orange County. None of Twitter, Filmpool Inc, or the Real Housewives existed when the original post was made.

So, yeah. We're talking a borderline actual geologic era here. (Teddy)

#20.  Val (1 season, 0 wins, 0 cashes, 1 DAFL)

Val's only season got off to a rip-roaring start when his first two draft picks were Nomar Garciaparra and Bret Boone, hot off the latter's Brady Anderson 1991 impersonation.  Can't fathom why Val lost.  (El Angelo)

The Nomar pick was understandable because Val's father's name is Onitnelav (he's Moldovan). (Teddy)

#18T. Vihal (1 season, 0 wins, 0 cashes, 0 DAFL)
#18T. Other Scot (ibid)

I remember absolutely nothing about either of these guys other than that they participated remotely in the first draft at Andy's apartment, and I was dealing with them online.  I think they were Elders' friends?  Either way, they were so unmemorable they go below our other one-and-done owner. (El Angelo)

I want to tread lightly here because we're old enough that one or both of these guys could plausibly be dead by now. Thoughts and prayers(?). (Teddy)

#17.  Bartolacci (1 season, 0 wins, 0 cashes, 0 DAFL)

Two words for everyone who was in the league the first year: Shane Reynolds. (El Angelo)

Dave's team ultimately met the same fate as his Twitter account: abandoned for a decade and then hacked by the Russians. (Teddy)

#16.  M*ke (2 seasons, 0 wins, 0 cashes, 0 DAFL, 1 Quit)

The guy who refused to give his team an actual name, and quit because we twice vetoed a trade where he dealt away all of his good players for - and this is serious - an injured Francisco Liriano, an uninjured Armando Benitez, Freddie Sanchez, JD Drew, and something called Gary Glover.  I remember exchanging about 400 emails around this trade brouhaha, including one where Will rejected the trade from China, and another where Sahil told someone to go get their shinebox.  (El Angelo)

My email reflects that shortly thereafter, Gary Glover was dropped for Luis Vizcaino. Then he got busted for child sexual assault. Things may have turned around, though, because his song "Rock and Roll Part 2" is featured in the new Joker movie.

#15.  Sahil (18 seasons, 0 wins, 0 cashes, 4 DAFL)

There is something truly glorious about Ironhead's 18-year run of futility, to the point where we're ranking him below people who were in the league for less than a full presidential administration.  I'll give the man this: he had the best team names, and I appreciated his desire to stick with the ee cummings typeface convention.  My personal favorites were "i am esix snead" and "bonderman's grundle," though I have no idea what generated the latter name.  (El Angelo)

A commonly voiced criticism of statistical analysis holds that numbers can be used to prove almost anything. There is merit to that criticism. For example, coming into this year Sahil's average place of finish over his time in the league was 8.9. That statistic implies that in last year's 8-team league, Sahil should have finished 0.9 places behind the last-place finisher. This, of course, did not happen. He instead finished 8th and last, thereby slightly *improving* his historical average place of finish to 8.8.

"bonderman's grundle" slaps, though. (Teddy)

#T13.  Matty (3 seasons, 0 wins, 0 cashes, 0 DAFL)
#T13.  Ben (3 seasons, 0 wins, 0 cashes, 0 DAFL)

Matt was an initial owner who bowed out after 3 years (and also my fairly useless brother).  Ben came into about a decade after it started, and also only lasted 3 years.  Both guys were of relatively good cheer, always willing to talk trade, and spectacular at busting Andy's balls.  The last skill is not one to under-appreciate, as we learned with, oh I don't know who...let's just call him, *ike.   (El Angelo)

This one caused some controversy in the GRBG's headquarters (currently located beneath the steam table at the Gowanus Whole Foods), as I vociferously argued that Ben's Mose Schrute beard should put him over the top. (Teddy)

#12.  Darrin (4 seasons solo, 0 wins, 0 cashes, 0 DAFL)

I can't remember if Darrin was in from Year 1 or Year 2, but he also was always willing to talk trade and drink beer.  He's more memorable for bringing in a co-owner who, unlike many of the other names on this list, actually knew what he was doing, and made the league tough for stiffs like me.  Solid on his own; tough when he was a co-owner.  (El Angelo)

The increasing competency of the league over time remains a vexation. Get dumber, people. (Teddy)

#11.  Jon (17 seasons, 0 wins, 1 cash, 2 DAFL)

In three separate years, Jon and I executed draft-day trades where I traded down and still got the player I wanted plus something extra.  Mind you, in none of those years did either of us finish in the money.  I think Jon's best season was about a decade ago when he won the Deathship league.  (El Angelo)

I'll always remember Jon for trading me Troy Tulowitski eleven days prior to Tulo's first major knee injury. I still have a printed-out copy of the espnzone.lycos.com story announcing the injury on the floor of my bird's cage. The bird died in 2012, so I doubt it minds. (Teddy)

#10.  Corey (14 seasons, 0 wins, 1 cash, 2 DAFL)

Pips Jon because he finished in 2nd once, while Jon never topped 3rd.  Really, the best part about this league calling it quits was getting rid of any emails with wormcheesemousebird.  (El Angelo)

You know, we're almost done with this finale post and we haven't really done anything yet to pass along our accumulated wisdom to the next generation of people who will undoubtedly use the Blogger platform to chronicle their fantasy teams. Let's correct that by dropping three nuggets of wisdom:

1. The word "Neshek" is funny; use it relentlessly.
2. Never get aboard an aircraft piloted by a New York Yankee
3. Once your league owners start having kids, MAINTAIN AN UP-TO-DATE SPREADSHEET OF THOSE KIDS' NAMES. I cannot emphasize this last point too strongly. (Teddy)

#9.  Andy (18 seasons, 0 wins 2 cashes, 2 DAFL)

As an initial point, I want to say that Andy was a superb commish for nearly two decades.  This wasn't the most contentious league, but several of us, myself included, are pains in the ass, and Sahil is Sahil.  I mean, this league was started by a bunch of law school students, and then voluntarily added multiple Duke alums and a guy working for George W. Bush.  Prickishness was a given.  But Andy's patience and fairness were a testament to his character.

In terms of being an owner...well, Andy's most consequential move was dealing a prospect named Mike Trout and a future first rounder to Scot in July 2011 as part of an ill-fated pennant drive.  Andy finished in 8th - and by points, closer to last than 5th - and Scot used Trout plus the pick (which became Zack Greinke) to win 4 of the next 5 titles.  Woof.  (El Angelo)

Seconded. This was a hell of a lot of effort for no reward other than dealing with a rotating cast of snarkmonsters. I've been meaning to tell Andy that for a long time, but I'm still waiting for him to sober up from that poker game in 2002 where he locked himself in the bathroom. (Teddy)

#8.  Angelo (17 seasons, 0.5 wins, 4.5 cashes, 4 DAFL)

With the passage of time, I completely forgot about my mid-late 2000s version of The Process, where I basically sat out two years with the idea of accumulating draft picks, only to blow them on baseball's versions of Jahlil Okafor.  My results in this league were essentially a sine curve: in the money the first two years, jack shit after the benefits of a good initial draft wore off, a little bump of success about 8 years in, followed by more jack shit, then an out-of-nowhere win with co-owner Wilfredo.  Viva Stable Geniuses!  (El Angelo)

The relentless avoidance of mediocricy was impressive. Although, in retrospect, it's fair to question the wisdom of tanking for draft picks in a league in which the 144 top players may not reach the draft. Thanks also for blowing what I know to be multiple days of your one and only life on this extremely odd thing we created. (Teddy)  

#7.  Will (17 seasons, 0.5 wins, 3.5 cashes, 2 DAFL)

My partner goes above me because (a) he rode the hell out of our team in September last year to get us the W, and (b) he sucked less frequently than me.  The genesis of our 2018 team was forged at Tucker's wedding, when Will and I - for reasons unclear - described the TA column to a dozen extremely confused, drunk, and sunburned WASPs.  My other favorite contribution Will made to the league was repeatedly making trade demands and threatening to put you on the No Fly List if you didn't accept.  I like to think that Sahil still gets a full cavity search every time he's at BWI.  (El Angelo)

Will's other claim to fame was proving completely impervious to predictions made in the column. This included predictions by Ang and I, as well as polls of the league as a whole. Although it makes sense that our own deplorable would prove unmeasurable by polls. (Teddy)  

#6.  Jake (12 seasons, 1 win, 5 cashes, 0 DAFL)

Never forget: in the league's first year, 9 owners finished behind 2 guys who spent 5 weeks on the road with no internet access, and another guy with a debilitating medical issue.  Man, we really should have convinced Val to stay in the league.  (El Angelo)

I learned I had climbed from 8th to 3d over those five weeks by using a public internet kiosk in the food court of the Stardust. Almost none of those nouns still exist. (Teddy)

#5.  Teddy (18 seasons, 1 win, 6 cashes, 0 DAFL)

I actually thought my co-author had more cashes than this - he never really punted in a given year, and usually drafted well in the middle rounds.  A review of the old standings revealed that he had four seasons where he accumulated 91 - 96.5 points, and won in none of those years.  It wasn't until I took a year off that the competition lightened enough for him to be able to hoist the trophy.  (El Angelo)

My strength was making getting the best out of the roster I drafted--in other words, as a fantasy coach. But like so many other coaches who also aspire to GM, I leave a legacy as a genuinely questionable drafter. I should have just thrown on autodraft every year and then figured out my platoons from there. (Teddy)


#4.  Andrew/Darrindrew (14 seasons, 2 wins, 7 cashes, 0 DAFL)

The top 4 owners were truly in an echelon above the rest - after the inaugural season, there wasn't a year where at least one of them didn't finish in the money, they took two of the three money slots in 12 of those 17 years, and swept the money 4 times.  Andrew was one of our steadiest owners - he won in what I think was his first year playing in 2007 (with Darrin back then), and was constantly in the money or a threat to cash.  On a personal level, I sadly have never met Andrew, and I think his connection to the league was Darrin, who came in through Jake.  If you're ever in New York, Mr. Cain, beers on me.  (El Angelo)

Agreed; all I have to add is that the data really broke down in some earlier years, so we don't really have know for sure where Darrin ended and Andrew began. Fourteen years earns magnanimity. (Teddy) 

#3.  Alex (17 seasons, 4 wins, 8 cashes, 0 DAFL)

A win for each time he drafted Huston Street too early.  (El Angelo)

Either his Simpsons icon hasn't been updated for a while or it is pulling some kind of reverse Portrait of Dorian Grey on him. (Teddy)

#2.  Tucker (18 seasons, 4 wins, 8 cashes, 0 DAFL)

Not only was he perpetually in contention, Tucker yearly had the most predictable yet unique roster construction of anyone in the league: top-notch hitters, a 1-2 man bench, and cycle through a zillion pitchers while riding hot hands.  I didn't do the math, but I would bet that Tucker cut over 600 relief pitchers over the his stewardship.  And it largely worked!  It's almost like he was a precursor to modern baseball pitching usage.  (El Angelo)

Yeah, he's the one who turned the Astros on to spin rate. But I'll remember him best as the runaway winner of the "Loudest Audible Scoffs Over a Draft Conference Call" awards from 2008-2015. Those were first-ballot performances. (Teddy) 

#1.  Scot (14 seasons, 5 wins, 10 cashes, 1 DAFL)

In the money 71% of the time, the most wins, and a last place finish tossed in just to throw us off the scent.  (He promptly wasted the first pick on Hanley Ramirez!)  There's really no debate who was the dominant owner in the league; it's almost enough to let us ignore the fact he's a Texas Rangers fan.  My compliments to the ultimate champ.  (El Angelo)

He came across so reasonably over email, too. Even so, I like to assume that he spent all our money on needle drugs and puppy catapults. Makes it easier, somehow. (Teddy)

*  *  *

Finally, for posterity, here are the final statistical standings. Te Occidere Possunt Sed Te Edere Non Possunt Nefas Es.

	AVG FINISH	Cashes	Cash %	Wins	Win %
Scot	4	9	0.64	5	0.36
Alex	4.1	9	0.53	4	0.24
Tucker	4.2	9	0.5	4	0.22
Jake	5.3	5	0.42	1	0.08
Chad	5.5	6	0.33	1	0.06
Darrandrew***	5.7	6	0.35	2	0.12
Angelo	6.7	4.5	0.26	0.5**	0.03
Will	7.2	2.5	0.18	0.5**	0.03
Matty G.	7.2	0	-	0	-
Corey*	7.3	1	0.07	0	-
Andy	7.4	2	0.11	0	-
Ben	7.6	0	-	0	-
Jon	8.3	1	0.06	0	-
Sahil	8.8	0	-	0	-
Barto	9	0	-	0	-
Vihal	9	0	-	0	-
Other Scot	9	0	-	0	-
Mike*	9	0	-	0	-
Val	12	0	-	0	-
	* Corey split '07 with Mike; finish assigned to Mike
** Co-owners in year of victory
	† ***Coupled as an entry because of past joint ownership

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Transactions Analysis: The Pewter Pitcher Leaderboard

We're a bit more than a third of the way through the season, which means that the contenders and pretenders have emerged, and it looks like a fairly competitive year; I count no fewer than 6 teams that can say they have a shot to win it. But rather than wax poetic about the teams that have a chance to win, as we haven't reached Father's Day, for crying out loud, let's take a look at the potential candidates for the vaunted Pewter Parachute Award. In previous years, it's been a runaway with middle relievers like Guillermo Mota and Pat Neshek getting run through systematically. This year, we're seeing not just middle relievers in contention, we're seeing some real names in the running. And not coincidentally, they're all in this TA. So I'll have an eye towards the race for the prize while scrutinizing a lot of deals. (El Angelo)

It's June, so the Parachute is officially in play. Not in play: my entire team, which stinks and sucks and stinks. But I digress. (Teddy)

Frank the Tank

• Signed Jason Giambi, HGHer, New York (AL); Released Josh Willingham, OF, Florida [5/28]
• Signed Luis Castillo, 2B, New York (NL); Released Jayson Werth, OF, Philly [6/1]
• Claimed Carlos Gonzalez, OF, Oakland off waivers; Released Ryan Doumit, C, Pittsburgh [6/3]
• Released Dana Eveland, SP, Oakland [6/4]
• Signed Alex Hinsaw, RP, San Fran; Released Castillo [6/6]
• Traded Chris Young, OF, Arizona and Gonzalez to 54°40' or Fight! for Bobby Jenks, RP, Chicago (AL); Signed Randy Winn, OF, San Fran [6/7]
• Released Daniel Cabrera, SP, Baltimore [6/8]
• Released Hinshaw; Re-signed Doutmit [6/10]

Guys you pick up and drop yourself without a middle step don't count towards the Pewter Pitcher, so Ryan Doumit, take a seat. Instead, we've got a pair of real players here who are making a run at the trophy. First, Mr. HgHiambi has been gracing the waiver wire with shocking frequency this year, though his recent hot streak is not only good news for the Streakers, it's pretty much ensured that he's going nowhere. More surprising is that Bobby Jenks, a very sensible pickup for this team at minimal cost for this year, has been dealt twice in the span of 10 days. I suppose that should get its own award; maybe in honor of Assface Omar Minaya? Speaking of which, why the hell was Luis Castillo on this roster for a week? Did you lose a bet to someone? (El Angelo)

Sort of a stealth candidate here as well is Randy Winn, who I believe we've cited before as the walking embodiment of a fantasy replacement-level outfielder. I guess that Bud Selig hasn't gotten around to throwing the Giants out of the league yet, so there's still a little fantasy grist to be milled yet in S.F. (Teddy)

54°40' or Fight!

• Signed Ian Stewart, 2B/3B Colorado; Released Rich Hill, SP, Chicago (NL) [5/29]
• Signed Jason Bartlett, SS, Tampa Bay; Released Guillermo Mota, RP, Milwaukee [5/30]
• Added Clayton Kershaw, SP, Los Angeles to the active roster; Released Josh Fields, 3B, Chicago (AL) [6/1]
• Traded Alex Gordon, 3B, Kansas City, Miguel Tejada, SS, Houston and Gavin Floyd, SP, Chicago (AL) to clemens the pederast for Matt Cain, SP, San Fran; Bobby Jenks, RP, Chicago (AL) and Ryan Zimmerman, 3B, Washington [6/2]
• Traded Jenks to Frank the Tank for Chris Young, OF, Arizona and Carlos Gonzalez, OF, Oakland [6/7]
• Traded Joba Chamberlain, SP, New York (AL) to Le Dupont Torkies for Clay Buchholz, SP, Boston and James Loney, 1B, Los Angeles; Released Aaron Laffey, SP, Cleveland [6/12]

The long and short of the three deals from my perspective is: (a) cashing in on three guys that I wasn't keeping this year and were somewhat surplusage for Chris Young (with Jenks as the intermediary that I didn't want) and three fun flyers in Cain, Zimmerman & Gonzalez; (b) swapping Stud Yankee for Stud Red Sock while getting Loney for my troubles. Since I'm not competing this year anyway, the difference between Joba & Clay was fungible, and adding a useful 1B in the process can't hurt, right? (El Angelo)

Shit, query whether Clay Buchholz won't end up more valuable than Joba THIS year, as Joba's conversion from minor league SP to big league RP to big league SP has set back his development curve a little. The real question is who will be more valuable going forward, which as with all young pitchers depends a lot on whose arm explodes first. Like the trade.

So now that I've said something nice I guess I have to take a pot shot. To wit: guess spending a second rounder on Alex Gordon last year didn't really pan out all that niftily. (Teddy)

Le Dupont Torkies

• Signed Glen Perkins, SP, Minnesota; Released Scot Shields, RP, Anaheim [6/2]
• Signed Rahdames Liz, RP, Baltimore; Released Heath Bell, RP, San Diego [6/5]
• Released Perkins [6/9]
• Signed Armando Not Andres Gallaraga, SP, Detroit [6/10]
• Signed Jorge Cantu, CI, Florida; Released Liz [6/11]
  
• Traded Clay Buchholz, SP, Boston and James Loney, 1B, Los Angeles to 54°40' or Fight! for Joba Chamberlain, SP, New York (AL) [6/12]

Aside from the trade, everything else is just weekly re-arranging of deck chairs for the next cruise, because the only guy still on the roster is Jorge Cantu, who's replacement level at the hot corner. The 2006 Champs obviously needed another arm, and cashed out on Bucchholz for Joba...but as the guy who made the deal, I have to query whether they could have gotten some better certainty from another non-competitor for Bucchholz. Yes, Joba's also going to be kept beyond this year, but in this team's keeper situation, you have to believe they're going for it this year, so unless the goal is to re-flip Joba for a better starter, this strikes me as only marginally helpful, especially as it leaves them with a hole at first base. (El Angelo)

I'm pretty sure I nailed Liz Radhames at a mixer in 1997. If memory serves, she was a nursing student from St. Joe's who enjoyed hiking, swing music, and (most crucially) Flaming Dr. Peppers. I admit to being more than a little surprised to see her in the O's bullpen this year, though good on her for striking a blow for gender equality. (Teddy)

The Spam Avengers

• Signed Jack Cust, OF, Oakland; Released Junior Griffey, OF, Cincinnati [5/28]

Would it have killed Alex to keep Junior Griffey around until he hit his 600th? The lack of sentimentality from this owner is appalling, especially when it's to sign the King of Three True Outcomes, Jack Fricking Cust. (El Angelo)

Jack Cust has chunks of Junior Griffey's stool in his stool. I leave to the reader to determine whether that makes Cust better or worse than Junior. (Teddy)

Decatur Commies

• Signed Derek Lowe Face, SP, Los Angeles [5/24]
• Signed Luke Hochevar, SP, Kansas City [5/25]

In terms of reunions, Lowe returning to Teddy's arms ranks somewhere between Tom Glavine's return to the Braves and me skipping my 10th high school reunion. On another note, Hochevar blows and blows on a bad team. (El Angelo)

DLowe has had terrible results this year, but his peripherals are the same as they have been for the past few years. He's a good bet to improve, and with my rotation in its current state, I'll take what I can get. (Teddy)

It's Enrico Palazzo

• Signed Bartolo Colon, SP, Boston and Scott Linebrink, RP, Chicago (AL); Released Mike Pelfrey, SP, New York (NL) [5/26]
• Released Jake Westbrook, SP, Cleveland [6/3]
• Signed Brandon Morrow, RP, Seattle; Released John Smoltz, SP, Atlanta [6/7]
• Signed Heath Bell, RP, San Diego [6/8]

My first draft of comments applauded Darrin for getting rid of Mike Pelfrey, who'd been crappy beyond recognition to that point. However, since being waived by the Defending Champs, Pelfrey's pitched 21 innings while giving up 4 runs, K'ing 15 and keeping his walk rate in order. (Of course he hasn't won any of those three starts---it's tough when your team's lineup and bullpen suck as much as their manager.) So I'm going to applaud Darrin instead for giving the Mets another viable starter by cutting Pelfrey. I would ask someone to keep up the good work by picking up Carlos Delgado for a week and then cutting him, as it may wake him up from his coma. Maybe I should've labeled this TA Bitter Met Fan Edition instead. (El Angelo)

Angelo advocates this same strategy with regard to Billy Wagner, except that Ang would prefer the subsequent cutting to be physical and repeated. (Teddy)

The Fighting Isaiahs

• Signed Randy Wolf, SP, San Diego; Released Edgar Rentasuck, SS, Detroit [5/26]
• Signed Jose Guillen, OF, Kansas City; Released Jeff Keppinger, 1B, Cincy [6/9]

Edgar Rentasuck is candidate #3 for the PP, as everyone who's needed a temporary fix at SS has tried him and been similarly disappointed. Still, you gotta love him because of his spunkiness. I'm more impressed though with the Jose Guillen signing, not because he's any good (he's not), but because Jake ignored his obscenity laced tirade and picked up him to ride the hot streak. I'm only shocked that he didn't try to pick up the White Sox' blow up dolls last month. (El Angelo)

Hey, somebody on that Royals team has to knock in the runs they score, and it's sure as hell not going to be Tony Pena Jr. Also, I'm pretty sure Jeff Keppinger did my taxes last year, which is a good a reason as any to waive him. (Teddy)

Matsui's Fissure

• Signed Jorge Campillo, RP, Atlanta; Released Jeff Francis, SP, Colorado and Donnie Darko, 1B, Cleveland [5/31]
• Signed Orlando Hudson, 2B, Arizona; Released Manny Acosta, RP, Atlanta [6/2]
• Re-signed Darko; Released Dionner Navarro, C, Tampa Bay and Mike Jacobs, 1B, Florida [6/9]

The Exploding Rectums continue to play Atlanta Reliever Roulette, which has landed on something called Jorge Campillo. That's going to work out poorly. This list of players is pretty depressing in general, as Garko, Navarro and Jacobs all fall under the category of guys that sounded like a great idea at the time but haven't done squat this year. Jorge Campillo is definitely going to turn that streak around though, you watch. Count on it. (El Angelo)

Orlando Hudson has an OPS of .858 so far this year, which is tops among non-Utlerian 2Bs. For some reason, none of us could bring ourselves to snag the O-Dog until now; not sure what that was about, but for the league's rep it's nice to see him brought into the fold. (Teddy)

clemens the pederast

• Signed Tim Redding, SP, Washington [5/27]
• Signed Jerry Hairston, Jr., MI, Cincinnati [5/30]
• Traded Matt Cain, SP, San Fran, Bobby Jenks, RP, Chicago (AL) and Ryan Zimmerman, 3B, Washington to 54°40' or Fight! for Alex Gordon, 3B, Kansas City, Miguel Tejada, SS, Houston and Gavin Floyd, SP, Chicago (AL) [6/2]
• Signed John Grabow, RP, Pittsburgh; Released Hairston [6/2]
• Signed Scott Downs, RP, Toronto; Released Jeremy Bonderman, SP, Detroit [6/7]
• Signed JD Drew, OF, Boston; Released Scott Rolen, 3B, Toronto [6/8]

Ironhead's team encompasses the most PP candidates, as Redding, Hairston, Downs and Drew have all been passed around like Mike Wilbon's underwear at an NBA party. Also, not to pile it on the poor bastard, but you know your season's going poorly when Bonderman gets a freak injury that KO's him for an entire year, and it's about the 5th worst thing that's happened to your staff. At least Floyd gives them a chance to reload for next season. (El Angelo)

Last year this franchise justifiably re-named itself in order to reflect its aggravation with Jeremy Bonderman, when all Bonderman did was suck. But what's the next step? How do you reflect Bonderman's ascension to an even higher level of franchise sabotage? We here at the GRBG wait with baited breath. A suggestion: mailing Bonderman a signed waiver letter rapped around a dead fish. (Teddy)

Christmas Critters

• Signed Dan Wheeler, RP, Tampa Bay; Released Scott Downs, RP, Toronto [5/28]
• Signed Jerry Hairston, Jr., MI, Chicago (NL) and Chad Cordero, RP, Washington; Released Felipe Lopez, SG, St. John's [6/5]
• Released Hairston; Signed Alexi Ramirez, 2B, Chicago (AL) [6/9]

I am now convinced that Scot has a program in his computer that emails him the minute a closer is down, because nobody is quicker to get the replacement fireman than him. I mean, he had Dan Wheeler before Troy Percival was off the mound in Tampa for god's sake. Well done. Also, Dan Wheeler? Ex-Met, traded for Richard Hidalgo. Grrr. (El Angelo)

Richard is the third-most famous Hidalgo, behind Movie Starring Viggo Mortensen Hidalgo and Treaty of Guadelupe Hidalgo. (Teddy)

Wu Tang Financial

• Signed Ronny Cedeno, SS, Chicago (NL); Released Clint Barmes, SS, Colorado [5/24]
• Released Cedeno, Signed Edgar Rentasuck, SS, Detroit [6/4]
• Signed Joe Crede, 3B, Chicago (AL); Released Edwin Encarnacion, 3B, Cincy [6/7]
  

See? Told you. Everyone loves the Rentasuck. Social on the Rentasuck. (El Angelo)


We here at the GRBG are strongly pro-social-rentasucking. For whatever that's worth. (Teddy)