Tuesday, February 12, 2008

The Assimilation of Dice-K

Even though Daisuke Matsuzaka has only been in Boston for a single season, he seems to be acclimatizing nicely. He's adjusting his training regimen to better accommodate the demands of the U.S. game, and is feeling more comfortable addressing the media.

And oh, yeah--per the photo in the Boston Globe article linked above, he's also grown a mullet:

Look at that baby! That's the finest Boston sports mullet since Zho-ay Zhu-neau's heyday in the early '90s. And even more impressively, look how far he's come since his arrival in Boston last winter:

The Eastern European tight puffy coat of yore has been replaced with the glorious, flowing hair-neck so characteristic of Trans-Am drivers from Revere. By next year, Dice-K will be buying party-balls of Coors Light from Cumberland Farms, and by the end of his contract he'll be a racist douche just like the rest of RSN. One. Of. Us. One. Of. Us. . . .


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