Monday, March 10, 2008

Mock Draft 2008, Part Deux

Picks 1-12 can be found here.

13. 54° 40' or Fight!: Rafael Soriano, RP, Atlanta Braves.

Aight, I have no idea whose idea this was, but I have minimal interest in taking a 3rd-tier closer from my Mets' archrivals when I'm in a rebuilding year. So let's call this one improbable. (El Angelo)

Trade chit. Book it. (Teddy)

14. Presidential Timber: Lawrence "Chipper" "Fuckface" Jones, 3B, Atlanta Braves.

Eat my anus, Larry. (El Angelo)

Ol' Fuckface had himself a fantastic season last year; this is pretty good value, at least for this year. Not really the kind of young talent the franchise might want to build around, but sometimes not sucking is its own reward. (Teddy)

15. Frank the Tank: Brett Myers, SP, Philadelphia Phillies.

Clearly, he only dropped this far because of the domestic abuse charges. (El Angelo)

Confucious say, in order to outfox a batter, you must know how to think like a batterer. It was all just an extended visualization exercise. (Teddy)

16. The Spam Avengers: Jim Thome, DH, Chicago White Sox.

Thumper without a back. I suppose that makes him the baseball equivalent of Fred Couples, minus the multiple messy divorces and reputation for being a choke artist. (El Angelo)

17. Wu Tang Financial: Trevor Hoffman, RP, San Diego Padres.

High time for a closer, and this is a squad who likes his players grizzled and seasoned. Order him up some Hell's Bells. (El Angelo)

I predict Hoffman will be this year's winner of the Keith Foulke Memorial Award, given annually to the pitcher whose fastball has finally declined to the point where it is indistinguishable from his change-up. Things tend to get ugly pretty quickly for the award's recipients. (Teddy)

18. The Fighting Isaiahs: Kosuke Fukudome, OF, Chicago Cubs.

I, for one, would like to say "Welcome" to the Fukudome. (Teddy)

19. Evil Empire: Pedro Martinez, SP, New York Mets.

Huge high risk/high reward pick. I like Pedro to give you 165 top-shelf innings this year, which is more than I can say for at least 1-2 other pitchers that'll be taken around now. (El Angelo)

I think we're all secretly hoping that Pedro slips further than this, but if you're more focused on rate stats than counting stats, he's not a bad choice here. (Teddy)

20. Frank the Tank: Manny Corpas, RP, Colorado Rockies.

Ladies and gents, the run on closers continues! (El Angelo)

This pick is both (1) surprisingly defensible and (2) deeply depressing at this point in the draft. But I guess that's just how things go in this league--hell, we had Takashi Saito going in this slot last year. Plus ca change, etc.

21. Frank the Tank: Kelvim Escobar, SP, Los Angeles Angels.

He's out for now, but this is a keeper league. Had he been healthy, he would have been kept or gone a round earlier. (El Angelo)

Agreed, though if this one of the 6-8 best starters available in his year's draft, we're all in trouble. (Teddy)

22. Christmas Critters: Ian Kinsler, 2B, Texas Rangers.

The second 2B taken in what's a surprisingly deep position. He's probably the best of the rest, but I'm not sure the gap is large enough to warrant this early taking. (El Angelo)

This franchise annoyingly always manages to land a player that is both young and good, and it looks like they'll do it again. We need some good, old-fashioned collusion around here, dammit. (Teddy)

23. Le Dupont Torkies: Ian Snell, SP, Pittsburgh Pirates.

In keeping with the collection of starters, the 2006 champs go with a young hurler from Pitt, who should help in K's, ERA, and WHIP. If he helps in wins, something's gone hideously astray for the remainder of the NL Central. (El Angelo)

24. Le Dupont Torkies: Joakim Soria, RP, Kansas City Royals.

A fitting way to end a hideous second round: with the nominal KC closer. I am scared to see what gets picked at the close of the 7th round. (El Angelo)

Given how unbelievable this pick looks, I'm going to say that someone will end up re-picking Soria in the 7th. (Teddy)

No comments: