Yep, this is the time of year when for some reason the crappy players on the waiver wire start looking better than the crappy players already on your roster. The grass is always greener over the septic tank. (Teddy)
bobcat goldthwaits
- Signed Ty Wigginton, IF, Tampa Bay; Released Bobby Crosby, SS, Oakland [4/7]
- Signed Jamey Carroll, MI, Colorado; Released Braden Looper, SP/RP, St. Louis; wrongly fooled around with Troy Tulowitzki, SS, Colorado [4/8-4/9]
Ty Wigginton is English for Antonio Graffanino; see the last TA for my thoughts on those kind of players. No sure what the upside is on Joe Barry Carroll, either. If anything I would have held on to Looper to see if he manages to turn into a useful starter, though I don't have the burden of two decades of Mets fannery weighing down on me as I say that.
Ed Rooney's Office
- Signed Brandon Morrow, RP, Seattle; Released Chris Reitsma, RP, Seattle [4/7]
Morrow was the team's first-round pick last year. They took him as a starter out of Cal, but he threw the ball great in ST this season and made the big league roster as a reliever. Mike Hargrove appears to have a mild man-chubby for Morrow, so if the inevitable JJ Putz breakdown comes mid-year, Morrow might have established himself as the next in line. Not that that's such an achievement considering the other options were Reitsma and the now-TJ'd Arthur Rhodes. (Teddy)
Evil Empire
- Signed Chad Gaudin, RP, Oakland; Released Jarrod Washburn, SP, Seattle [4/12]
Beneath the lightning and the Moon/The dead men gave a groan.
They groaned, they stirred, they all uprose/Nor spake, nor moved their eyes;
It had been strange, even in a dream,/To have seen those dead men rise. (ElAngelo)
There once was a pitcher named Jarrod
The M's made him richer than Herod
But once on the grass
He sucked him some ass
The team realized that they had errored. (Teddy)
Hand Bananas
- Signed Henry Owens, RP, Florida; Lyle Overbite, 1B, Toronto; and Jon Lester, SP, Boston; Released Mike Stanton, RP, Cincy [4/9]
The Jon Lester move is a surprisingly long-focus one for a team that' s in contention. Lester won't be back with the big club until June at the earliest, with the team committed to bringing him along slowly after that whole pesky Lymphoma thing last season. That said, if Senor Banana can afford to burn a roster slot on him for the next couple of months, he could pay dividends after the ASB. (Teddy)
It's Enrico Palazzo
- Signed Livan Hernandez, SP, Arizona [4/7]
- Released Livan Livan [4/8]
Apparently IEP just wanted to get Livan some more service time towards his fantasy pension. It's a nice gesture, I guess. (Teddy)
Le Dupont Torkies
- Signed Mike Jacobs, 1B, Florida; Released Craig Hansen, RP, Boston/Pawtucket [4/7]
- Claimed Braden Looper SP/RP, St. Louis off waivers; Released Ryan Shealy, 1B, Kansas City [4/11]
The perhaps unsurprising lesson here is that the Big East isn't a fertile source of baseball talent. I think the devastating Mo Vaughn/John Valentin-era Seton Hall club was the last Big East team to contribute meaningful players to the bigs. If you'll note, that's now long enough ago that Valentin is a minor league hitting instructor and Big Mo (at right with Mass. furniture legends Bernie & Phyl) is the Thursday night bouncer at the Foxy Lady in Providence. Jacobs is a good player in a bad park; Shealy is a decent player in a good park. So that swap comes down to who happens to get hot over the next month. (Teddy)
M**e
- Signed Gary Matthews, Jr. Steroid Abuser, Anaheim; Released Fernando Rodney Fernando, RP, Detroit [4/8]
I've just heard from the GRBG's legal counsel, who pointed out to me the potential liability inherentin calling Gary Matthews, Jr. a steroid abuser. As always, counsel is correct. We apologize to Mr. Matthews for any implication that he used steroids at any time during his career. He in fact used Human Growth Hormone with a chaser of bovine stem cells. The GRBG will appoint an ombudsman to ensure that this sort of thing doesn't occur again in the future. (Teddy)
Nigerian Gentlemen
- Signed Joakim Soria, RP, Kansas City and Humberto Sanchez, RP, New York (AL); Released Jim Edmonds, OF, St. Louis and Aubrey Huff, 1B/3B/OF, Baltimore [4/11]
Maybe I'm just nostalgic, but I still think Edmonds has some value left. Of course at his age he's always one diving catch away from disaster, so the move to dump him is probably still the correct one. Huff is soon to be engaged in a playing-time death match against Kevin Millar and Jay Payton, which tells you a lot right there. Joakim Noah is a risky pickup, but I guess Okoye Nation sees some Chris Young-style upside there. Still, though, if you're going to grab a Gator, I would have gone with Arnold Horshack instead. (Teddy)
President Skroob
- Signed Felix Pie, OF, Chicago (NL) [4/11]
Since I can't really quibble with the move, I'll instead ask whether Yahoo!'s spelling of this guy's name (with accent marks over each 'e') is correct. This information is critical so that we can decide whether to make pie jokes or paella jokes about him in the future. All input gratefully accepted. (Teddy)
The Sex Cannons
- Signed Reed Johnson, OF, Toronto; Released Orlando Cabrera, SS, Anaheim [4/11]
- Claimed John Danks, SP, Chicago (AL) off waivers; Released John Patterson, SP, Washington [4/12]
Agreed on the Danks move. Jesus, what a fluffy ending. May as well make it official:
1 comment:
coleridge what!
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